The pitfalls of believing love is all down to fate and the problems it causes if you don’t make an effort

Some romantics might like to think that finding their partner was all down to fate.

But be warned: believing your relationship is simply ‘destined to be’ could lead to problems down the line, a study suggests.

Researchers found those who prefer to think relationships grow through effort tend to maintain higher levels of satisfaction.

The team recruited 904 couples, aged 18 to 81, and assessed their destiny beliefs and levels of satisfaction in their relationships.

Analysis revealed those with strong destiny beliefs were more satisfied in their relationship at the start of the research period.

But their satisfaction declined more steeply over the two-year study compared to those who had strong growth beliefs.

Dr Fabian Gander at the University of Basel, Switzerland, lead author of the study published in the European Journal of Personality, said: ‘’How we think about love can shape our satisfaction’’.

‘‘People who believe love is ‘meant to be’ are more satisfied with their relationship than those who do not, but this belief does not protect them from becoming less satisfied over time.

However, for those who consider ‘love to grow with effort’, satisfaction goes down less strongly and they have better future expectations for their relationship.’

‘‘Convincing people that relationships can be cultivated and teaching them some ideas on how to do so could ... lay the ground for practical applications in couples therapy,’ ’Dr Gander added.