Dad Life with Josh Zimmerman: excited for a night without our baby, we then talked about her constantly

In the nearly 10 months since Cleo was born, there have been two occasions when Jade and I have both been more than 50m away from her at the same time. The first was during a friend’s wedding in February. The second was earlier this month, when a family member kindly offered to babysit so we could escape for a date night at a small bar 51m from our house to celebrate Jade’s birthday. To say we were enthused by the prospect of an evening without our darling daughter would be an understatement — the last time I can remember Jade getting so excited was when the local Coles started stocking coconut yoghurt. The night got off to an inauspicious start. I arrived home from work at 6.10pm to the familiar screams of a baby determined to go 12 rounds on the fit ball before nodding off. This was less than ideal given Aunty Angie (the babysitter) was slated to arrive at 6.15pm. Exactly 700 bounces later the task was completed and I emerged from the nursery, blinking against the light, to find Jade giving Angie the rundown. “Don’t be alarmed if Cleo sits up and stares at the baby monitor 40 minutes in — it’s a normal part of her transition. Sometimes she’ll also stand up, start clapping, or knocking her head against the side of the cot. “If she starts crying, let her go five minutes (best make that 10 minutes, I interjected) before letting us know and we’ll come straight home.” Ground rules laid, Jade and I ran out the front door and across the road like teenagers wagging school. While Jade found a cosy spot in the corner, months of eating out with a baby meant I immediately headed straight for the bar to order drinks and all of our food. Two glasses of red secured, I headed back to the table. Alone together at last, the world our oyster, I sat down across from wife. We looked into each other’s eyes. I reached for her hand. I cast around for something to say. “So… how many times did Cleo poo today?” Three, it turned out. One of which somehow fell out of her nappy and into her sleep suit. Topics of conversation from there included: suspect things Cleo had recently put in her mouth, things we need to buy for Cleo, things Cleo had recently broken and (a perennial winter favourite) does Cleo’s runny nose mean she’s sick or teething? It’s a wonder we somehow resisted the temptation to pull out our phones to compare cute pictures. About 30 minutes in, Jade got a message from Angie to say Cleo was stirring. My glass was drained and jacket on before the last syllable of the text had been relayed. As it turned out, it was a false alarm. A second round of drinks was ordered but any pretence this would be baby-free evening had been well and truly shattered. And you know what? It was a great night regardless. We got to eat our food at the same time. Baby monitor now positioned prominently on the table, we set to work debating whether “mama” counts as a first word when it’s clear Cleo has no idea what it means (it has so far been directed only at the cat). I’m sure the odd topic came up that had nothing to do with Cleo but frankly, the baby talk was much more interesting. When the conversation eventually petered out and we both found ourselves staring in silence at the baby monitor we knew it was time to wrap up the night. It was the responsible thing to do. The clock was fast approaching 7.45pm, after all. Jade’s tips from the trenches + Earlier this month was Birth Trauma Awareness Week. BirthTrauma.org.au offer a peer-to-peer support service to help the 1 in 3 women who identify their birth as traumatic. The service is free with multiple platforms available to connect. + A baby monitor with a phone app allows you to keep an eye on bubs from any location — and from multiple devices. We have found this puts our minds at ease knowing we can check in when either of us are out and about. + It can be difficult to make time for baby-free outings without family available to babysit. Facebook groups such as Babysitting Perth WA can be a great way to connect with sitters in your area with police clearances and good references.