Annie serves mediocre fare

Annie

118 minutes. Directed by Will Gluck.

Screen play by Will Gluck and Aline Brosh McKenna.

What might have been a landmark reimagining of a popular comic strip heroine turned Musical Theatre Star, ends up being a film of such gob-smacking mediocrity that it becomes almost impossible to keep watching.

With all the musicality of a burst fire hydrant, it is impossible to comprehend how the filmmakers responsible have got it so completely wrong.

The added cruelty inflicted on us here, is that we really want it to work.

The evergreen musical (music by Charles Strouse, lyrics by Martin Charnin, and book by Thomas Meehan) has been enshrined in musical theatre history, with its signature tune ‘Tomorrow’ an instantly recognisable classic.

Regrettably, like the rest of the fabulous score that has been slaughtered beyond recognition, it fails to make even the slightest impact — which can only be described as bizarre.

Quvenzhane Wallis, who became the youngest actress to receive a Best Actress Oscar nomination for her performance in Beasts of the Southern Wild, is wonderful as Annie.

And watching the rest of the film fall apart around her only makes the experience of watching it even more excruciating.

Jamie Foxx has a genuine go at the reimagined Oliver Warbucks character, Will Stacks, a mobile phone billionaire.

Foxx is the only other cast member who can sing and kind of dance, but the major problem is he obviously feels incredibly uncomfortable doing so in front of a movie camera.

The hopelessly miscast Rose Byrne (as Stacks’ Personal Assistant, Grace) only proves she can neither sing nor dance, which is awkward in a musical.

But nothing will prepare you for the fear and panic that infuses Cameron Diaz’s unwatchable turn as Miss Hannigan.

But whatever the extent of the unjustifiable musical liberties that have been taken, the two-hour running time can only be described as beyond endurance.