Grieving Geraldton mum reaches out to family of fire victims, begs for an end to ‘evil’ social media posts

Marere Ihe Rangi Meri Potaka has lived with the torture of losing a child for almost six months. It has been a nightmare 174 days since her 17-year-old son Justyce Potaka-Kumeroa, a talented young basketballer who had just graduated high school, died in a car crash on Marine Terrace on Christmas Eve. When Ms Potaka heard about the horrific Mt Tarcoola house fire on June 1 — which claimed the life of 13-year-old schoolboy Nulla Mongoo and left his older brother Matt, 14, and a 12-year-old friend fighting for their lives — her heart broke for the families. The event shocked the entire community. But unlike many, Ms Potaka, who lives only a couple of streets away from the Mongoos, knows all too well the indescribable pain of a parent outliving a child. When offensive and racist social media posts and speculation about the cause of the blaze triggered unrest and anger within the victims’ family and online — spilling into violence in the community — Ms Potaka could also, unfortunately, relate. The grief-stricken yet brave mother is begging for an end to “evil” and “toxic” social media speculation and gossip, which piles on extra pain to families already in agony. Ms Potaka wanted to speak up, to express her support for the Mongoo family and to call for peace to be restored in the community, particularly among the younger generation, so the focus is on recovering and healing from a devastating loss, rather than engaging in harmful speculation and hurtful gossip that often circulates on social media. “I know all too well the damage that social media can have, especially with our young people. I have spent the last six months trying to grieve, to mourn the loss of my baby,” she said. “But things just seem to be thrown in the way, time after time. Young people and adults who think they know my child, my children. People who think it’s their place, even their right, to comment on how I should be feeling, how my children should be reacting.” Ms Potaka described some of the social media commentary surrounding her family’s tragedy as “evil”. “I can’t even bring myself to say out loud some of the things I have seen on social media about my boy, the things my other older children have been exposed to. Some of it is just evil, there is no other way of putting it,” she said. “It’s all churned up over and over and it stops me and my family moving on. When we should be focused on grief and mourning, we must shift and sort out more issues.” Ms Potaka said to make it worse, parents were not aware of what their children were saying online, or if they were they were in denial or made excuses, which was effectively “creating monsters”. “Now I see it over again, another family who should be simply grieving, having to deal with rumour, speculation and, I have to be honest, people just being evil on technology,” she said. “The family should be seeing messages of support, that’s it. They should be seeing an outpouring of love, because they have lost their baby. That’s it, there is nothing else. A young boy has been lost and yet we are having to deal with toxic posts and dangerous social media. “I want to wrap my arms around the kids in this town, tell them to surround themselves with good, supportive people.” In the wake of Justyce’s death, his mother said she was so proud of his friends, teammates, teachers and coaches for remembering the young man he was. “I had so many conversations with them and sat with them and cried with them, it was so important that they had an outlet to mourn,” she said. “Part of me feels the Mongoo family and the close community have had that taken away. The focus has moved from where it should have stayed, on the tragic loss of another young boy and the family by the bedside of another who is holding on.” Ms Potaka had this message for people who think they have a right to stir, lie and manipulate in times of tragedy. “I hope you never have to experience the pain and heartache I have, and other parents have, when losing a child,” she said. And she stressed parents had to take a leading role if things were going to change. “You may think you are protecting your child by making excuses or denying the facts, but in reality, you are creating monsters,” Ms Potaka said. “Teach your children kindness, empathy and respect, hold them accountable for their actions or someone else will. “And for all of you beautiful, loving hearts out there supporting each other and wading through this unimaginable grief, don’t adapt to the energy of the room — influence the energy in the room.” In their first interview after the fatal blaze, Nulla and Matt’s parents Matthew and Melissa Mongoo pleaded for an end to speculation about the cause of the fire. “We gotta worry about our other son fighting for his life and to read that sort of stuff and hear about it is ridiculous,” Mr Mongoo said. “We haven’t even had time to mourn properly, cry or anything.” Ms Potaka had this to say to the grieving Mongoo family: “You are loved and you are supported. The Geraldton community are behind you and we love you. The only thing that matters is you being there for your boy and grieving your loss . . . I know the wider community are here to help you.”