What I See with Peter Fiorenza: Tough love is important, but dishing it out can hurt just as much as taking it

To say I’m a big softie is an understatement.

I’m the one who can’t watch vet TV shows, documentaries about the Third World or Australians winning an Olympic gold medal without shedding a tear.

Also, my heart does nothing but sink when I see someone upset, especially if they cry.

Over the years I thought I would harden up, with experience softening the blow, however that has not been the case.

You could say that I’m the quintessential “wear my heart on my sleeve” kind of bloke.

If anything, the heart on the sleeve seems to get heavier with every passing year.

So, being a teacher, at times I can border on being an emotional wreck.

Without doubt, I’m primarily in the education game because I care.

Now this can come in the form of “tough love”.

I tell my students even though I might guide them in a particular subject, my main responsibility is to make them into good citizens.

And this is where I created a dilemma for myself.

Case in point. The other day, I was a little cranky when some of my students entered the classroom very late.

The bell for the start of the lesson had rung ages before they decided to stroll on in.

When I asked for an explanation, one of the boys said something that I thought was a bit cheeky.

I was at a point where I wasn’t ready to tolerate such a response and told him I’d had enough of this behaviour, that he should leave the room and present himself to a deputy.

The young fella looked at me protesting that he didn’t do anything wrong.

I was adamant and he left.

Now, this boy could be described as your usual 13-year-old lad: often cheeky but nothing out of the usual.

I often would talk and joke with him, at times, about his footy and cricket exploits.

So I can tell you, disciplining him hurt me as much as it hurt him.

Later in the lesson, I received an email from the deputy, telling me he had a very confused and upset student sitting with him.

“He says he didn’t do anything wrong.”

I returned the email stating that this was a culmination of recent bad attitude from the student and he needed to be punished.

The deputy asked me to come and speak with the boy during the break in his office following the lesson in an attempt to explain the situation to him.

Well, as I entered the room I saw this otherwise tough hombre in total tears, even trembling when he talked.

Wow ... my heart sank.

I don’t mind saying I had to work hard to hold back my own tears.

We had the conversation and worked through the stalemate, but that night I couldn’t sleep.

I just kept thinking about the cheeky, confident toughie reduced to a very sad and distressed little boy.

Gee, tough love hurts a bit.

Peter Fiorenza hosts Sports Shed Saturday (9am to noon) and Fiorenza on Sunday (10am to noon) on Radio MAMA